BIENVENIDOS AL OLIMPO

miércoles, 5 de marzo de 2008

BULIMIC ANTS ARE DIYING FOR SUGAR OVERDOSE.


BULIMIC ANTS ARE DIYING FOR SUGAR OVERDOSE.

It was a normal summer and i was in my house making what you usually make in summertime... This desire for having fun, having sex with native from other places or dance a few tacky rhythm with too much coconut palms...its not my hobby. I prefer to sleep, read and make things that during the rest of the year, I could not make...and to get bored I suppose...
I had everything good planed: I wanted to spend a few weeks with one of my best friends with a very difficult name to pronounce who was working taking out bunions from his fjords while these were trying to make disappear to the midnight sun...that at last I knew what was this. In the theory...Well...
I had almost my tickets in my hands, the suitcase with the winter dresses...(as you know...our winter is like their summer....and our summer...its like their exotic adventures in dreams...) but my friend told me that he couldn’t go to the airport to pick me up. This made me angry. I thought that it was a inexcusable rudeness, specially thinking that always I was treating him like a king, with this typical warm welcome that we give to our foreigners and that they are loving a lot...Specially when the foreigner is singing very laud how much he is loving you...
But, although my friend not only had a car but seven sport cars (in rich countries they are having collection of expensive sport cars while in poor countries the best collections is stamps collections...) he suggested me that arriving to the country I can take a train to drive me from the capital city to his village...
I said go to hell to him . To the “midnightsun” also...
The first morning that I bump into them, I went to the kitchen to prepare my breakfast.
A string in dark colour, danced conga on the tiles. They were going out from a little and rotten hole walking in a military way congesting the slender light.
I followed them They were walking around the kitchen making different stops in the sink where they were having a bathe, in the shelves for cutters, where they were burning the time, splashing in the drawers and in other place they were taking out the thorns to the tea’s smell.
But I couldn’t understand. If in this planet exist a undernourished kitchen, this is mine!
While I was preparing a coffee with milk, I spoke very kind with them. I was very sweet with them, specially knowing that I don’t like little animals. I know i shouldn’t say it today so in fashion to imitate to Saint Frank of Asissi,,,(brother wolf, brother bug...)
Well...I advised them that close to my apartment is living a couple with plump eyes and green legs, stinging in their house the most succulent food. You can imagine they will have a great fridge full with all kind of dishes...
I do not know if they understood me but I continued with my obligations.
I went to the bathroom to have a shower but they arrived first and they were with impudence having a bath with my French and expensive shampoo. I must recognize that i lost my temper and with the shower I made genocide...or it would be better to write
“ant-cide”...
I decided to clean. To make that famous “spring clean”. I’ve forgotten to make it in spring.
It was August. Never mind. It doesn’t matter. In everywhere in the planet will be spring.
I spent the day making juggler with toxic detergents...I was close to be myself the exterminated one with the dangerous vapours. However, I finished the day stamping bright in every little hide place in my house...
No ants. All television spots were sowing my walls with fork and knives...
That night i slept calm. My normal nightmares with windows in the nails...
In the morning, I forgot the story but arriving to the kitchen again I met them. It was like my walls has moustache.
I did not understand anything. They were invading my house in a perfect order they looking for something but it was not the correct place. I didn’t understand how they made me the war so easy because they were in the sink.
I only opened the tap and i finished with a lot of the ants. I felt a little sad for them but their stupid attitude didn’t like to me. But I dint know how the ants didn’t want to go out... more I killed more they were appearing…
I went out to buy an terminator angel...in spray and I sprayed them with all the holocausts vapours...I was also close to be annihilated also with the toxics airs...
A couple of hours later when I was trying to take sugar for my coffee a black lava was going out from the special crater and spill for the sugar bowl. I sickened at this. The ants went out but after eating his gluttony in the sweetness. They were fat, less nimble ants, inflated with cellulite in the antennas...
I decided to make more. I tried to hide in the fridge everything that could be eaten by them. I cleaned again.
The house was so clean that I could see myself in every corner... But...if I was in the bathroom they were feed with my peach gel.
In my bedroom they were playing with my orange perfume.
In my "study room" they were invading my candy box...
I gave up. I decided to observe. I thought about making what I make when I have a great or little misfortune: to write about this. I started to make my story.
I realized that they were crazy with all the sweet things...and i remembered the proverb, perhaps Chinese ..."if you can’t triumph on your enemy...be close to him and pretend to be with him..."
I went to the supermarket and i bought every kind of cloying sweets, honeys, chocolates, cream...and i put the sweetness in beautiful dishes in colours...nice dishes on the floor. ...
They started to eat and i sat down on my great table with my video camera. I was a gastronomy voyeur. They were eating and eating. With the tongue. With the legs. With the idea’s eyelashes. With the ideas that they didn’t have. With passion.
After this, satisfied, I realized something that I didn’t think that can happen: it was like a "X-FILE" !!, very normal...for other part...in my life.
The ants after the great eat, exhausted, dragging their bellies...(now ants bellies were very fat) they went to the bathroom and there, after looking themselves in the mirrors, they changed their faces with panic and putting inside fingers in their mouths, they vomit.
I realized that I had in my house an army of “bulimic ants”!!
I couldn’t believe it. They vomit wishes, vomit tables, vomit dreams, vomit rounds books, vomit psychiatrics with their coaches...Later, they stopped very calm on the floor... After ten minutes, they started again with the same...I was completely fed up but for other part i felt sad for them.
I tried to speak with them but they were laughing at me and they call me "fat girl"...of course this was not important for me...
Anyway...I stopped with sleeping. I couldn’t with these little animals in my apartment. They were arriving from everywhere, speaking a lot of languages...My house was like the "O.N.U." ! They were arriving...queens, workers, priests, unemployed ants...from everywhere...speaking a lot of different languages...That was the limit!!! But I was making a study like "National Geographic" !! In fact I thought I will be rich with this report...I was recording without stopping...
But they started to make love and have babies also! In front of me! Without getting married before! They were having ant babies from their eyes, from their fingers, from their navels... I didn’t want to suffer this anymore. I wanted to sleep...I realized that I was kidnapped in my own apartment.
I decided to increase my dose. With my electric food mixer, I prepared a great potion from one the best witches in the world. I had a genial idea: I telephoned to four of my best friends (ex boyfriends).
Héctor Julio, the very sexy man from Argentina.
Paolo, the sweet and beautiful man from Italy.
Pierre, the most passionate boy from France.
Ernesto Gerardo, the wonderful lover from Cuba.
They came to me and when we were together in my apartment, I told them my problem. They wanted to help me, with the typical gallantry and politeness so nice...
They put themselves inside the electric food mixer with the other ingredients...
With this mix, I made my great work. It was the most dangerous and cloying potion speaking beautiful and sweet love words without stopping...
I put little pieces of potions in every little dish. They went very quick eating, drinking, licking, sucking, chewing...They couldn’t stop. It was too much...
Between convulsions, spasms, contortions, politic speeches, hysterical laugh...one by one, they were dying...They ate an overdose from my mortal potion.
After this, I cleaned my house. In addition, never more little animals visited me. Moreover, I had a lot of money with my report...Of course...

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